Heartbroken

That´s how I feel but I´m not heartbroken... maybe the best word would be desperate... but even I´m like that God has show me mercy...

Everything with Negro is working great... thanks God! ^^ but I was "doing my math" with money and everything I have to pay per month and got desperate... I didn´t see the light, I was not able to see the light.

I have no kids but I have a big house to take care, lots of bills if you add to this month the wedding (not mine! my BF... and for BF I mean my best friend´s wedding) Buy something fancy for the occasion and I have not buy the gift... oh well... that can wait, he will be ok with that.

I owe some money to my dad, the one who has saved by butt the pass two months and here goes again... after talking for about an hour he was kind enough to tell me that I had no to pay most of the money I owe him before and that´s a big relief (THANKS GOD!!! Really, this is a miracle... you don´t know my dad but i can tell you it´s a miracle!).


I still don´t have all the answers... for example, I have to think what to do with my pets since my dad will never help me with that, he advised me that.  "I will help you but not the cats and dogs..." I cannot let them die.  I might have no pay the light bill but they will have their food, I can´t denied them that, I have no heart for that.

The "numbers" does not match yet but I´m feeling better... trusting God, if you know me I don´t left God behind and I don´t like to leave all things to him but... tonight I was seeing the black dot in the picture, my heart was feeling weak, couldn´t breath... tears... I cannot sleep either but... I´m trusting Him that everything will be better, I´ll work for things to be better.

Well no matter who you are and no matter what you’ve done
There will come a time when you can’t make it on your own
And in your hour of desperation
Know you’re not the only one, praying
Lord above, I need a miracle

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